Notes from a Reading Woman on Inauguration Day

We can study the past but about the present there are times when we can only state our hope and our faith.

  • John Dos Passos, “The Use of the Past” in The Ground We Stand On (1941)

I didn’t watch the inauguration of our 47th president today, nor have I been online at all except to share my brief thoughts on a fabulous book that advocates for the broader use of oral history by architectural historians from a fourth wave feminist perspective. (Neither here nor there here, but it’s called Speaking of Buildings: Oral History in Architectural Research edited by Jannina Gosseye, Naomi Stead, and Deborah van der Plaat and everyone should buy and read it right away). That should give you an idea about where I land on the political spectrum, but perhaps I can elaborate a little bit more.

I was raised Southern California Republican but have never really voted that way. I was briefly registered as an Independent while taking a couple years off of college to “find myself,” but never really voted that way either. I am currently a registered Democrat because it feels like I have to pick one, but I often don’t strictly vote the way a party faithful would appreciate. I can’t say with confidence what I am politically, but I can say with complete confidence that I am, through and through, an American—one who has studied American history and who still reads widely about how Americans feel about being American. I like learning about the past, it gives me context for the present and helps me feel less alone. This form of civic religion has helped me find meaning in…well…just about everything I encounter, but especially in times of transition as inauguration days always are in the best of times and in the worst of times.

So, I hit the books today. One of my new year’s resolutions, aside from miraculously becoming a gym person, is to read more widely and more deeply and to write about it. This is Joan Didion’s fault, as you would imagine if you ever met me and especially if you saw my mother. In a 1976 essay titled “Why I Write” originally published in the New York Times Book Review, she said “I write entirely to find out what I’m thinking, what I’m looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear.” I, too, figure out what I’m thinking by writing, generally after reading and having longwinded discussions with myself in the shower. I finished out 2024 by finishing an epic look at how we think of ourselves as Americans by Michael Kammen called Mystic Chords of Memory: The Transformation of Tradition in American Culture. The book’s title comes from Abraham Lincoln’s first inaugural address, delivered on March 4, 1861, which included the following excerpt:

In your hands, my dissatisfied fellow countrymen, and not in mine, is the momentous issue of civil war. The government will not assail you. You can have no conflict, without being yourselves the aggressors. You have no oath registered in Heaven to destroy the government, while I shall have the most solemn one to ‘preserve, protect and defend’ it.

I am loth to close. We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battle-field, and patriot grave, to every living heart and hearthstone, all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angles of our nature.

Words to hold onto on this, an official holiday to remember the life and sacrifice of Martin Luther King, Jr. which is also the same day we inaugurated our 47th president who was also our 45th president. Lincoln might be the president everyone can get behind, unless you’re still a fervent believer in The Lost Cause and I do believe there are some holdouts down there in ye olde South. My personal favorite is Teddy Roosevelt, although he’s certainly not without his problems, but that’s probably best left for a future post. In any event…

I spent the last day of the 2024 fully enrapt by Emerald Wounds: Selected Poems of Joyce Mansour translated by Emilie Moorhouse. Mansour described poetry as “a scream,” and that is exactly the kind of energy I find useful now, in a new year with new horizons and this shifting terrain. I began 2025 with Sarah Lewis’s The Unseen Truth: When Race Changed Sight in America, which undid me in so many ways and reenergized me, encouraged me to keep looking for connecting threads between unlikely things and weaving them together in ways that find relevance in the present. Reading the work of these women has been incredibly fortifying. There are other people out there who are not like me but are just like me. Onward.

In my active reading pile, I’m working through Controversial Monuments and Memorials: A Guide for Community Leaders edited by David B. Allison, which is a little repetitive but has some great takeaways, and Vandover and the Brute by Frank Norris, a fictionalized romp through 1890s San Francisco that does not turn out well; a couple of work reads. Where I go next is still up in the air. Maybe Lili Anolik’s Didion & Babitz, a Christmas gift from my husband (who has been absolutely on fire in terms of gifting books that change my life) or The Pensive Image: Art as a Form of Thinking by Hanneke Grootenboer. I picked up the Grootenboer book from City Lights Bookstore during a staycation day where we wandered around North Beach without agenda. It was the same day I also brought home Kammen and Mansour, a day that will live in infamy, if you will.

While I wait for the next book to pick me, because isn’t that the way it always happens? You buy them, you stash them on a shelf for days, months, sometimes years, and then these books, they find you whenever you’re meant to read them. Anyway, while I wait for the next one to reach out and grab me, I picked up a very old John Dos Passos that came home with me on one of my many Friends of the San Francisco Public Library hauls. In 1941, as American thinkers grappled with the failures of World War I and the legacies of our Founding Fathers in the same year that the United States finally formally entered World War II, John Dos Passos began his book The Ground We Stand On with an essay titled “The Use of the Past.” While this book has an “I drank the koolaid” tinge to it and is overtly chauvinistic (to use a word adored by Kammen), as many patriotic midcentury excursions into Jeffersonian democratic legacies do, I found parts of the introductory essay so very relevant to today. Charming, is it not, since it sought to explain how the 1770s could help his readers understand the 1940s? Here are some extended excerpts that resonated with me today, the day we inaugurated our next president.

EVERY generation rewrites the past. In easy times history is more or less of an ornamental art, but in times of danger we are driven to the written record by a pressing need to find answers to the riddles of today. We need to know what kind of firm ground other men, belonging to generations before us, have found to stand on. In spite of changing conditions of life they were not very different from ourselves, their thoughts were the grandfathers of our thoughts, they managed to meet situations as difficult as those we have to face, to meet them sometimes lightheartedly, and in some measure to make their hopes prevail. We need to know how they did it.

In times of change and danger when there is a quicksand of fear under men’s reasoning, a sense of continuity with generations gone before can stretch like a lifeline across the scary present and get us past that idiot delusion of the exceptional Now that blocks good thinking. This is why, in times like ours, when old institutions not necessarily in accord with most men’s preconceived hopes, political thought has to look backwards as well as forwards.

In spite of the ritual invocation of the names of the Founding Fathers round election time, Americans as a people notably lack a sense of history…We have wasted and exploited our political heritage with the same childish lack of foresight that has wrecked our forests and eroded our farmlands and ruined the grazing on the great plains. Now that we are caught up short at the edge of the precipice, face to face with the crowded servitude from which our fathers fled to a new world, the question is how much is left; how much of their past achievement is still part of our lives? It is not a question of what we want; it is a question of what is. Our history, the successes and failures of the men who went before us, is only alive in so far as some seeds and shoots of it are still stirring and growing in us today.

The Americans of our time who have put their minds to work in this direction have come late, on the whole, to understanding the actuality of the American past. They had to get a lot of callow debunking off their chests first. Right from the beginning the line of American thinking has been twisted off the straight course by periods of backsliding…

…Election time and the Fourth of July they saw the old bunting brought out and tacked on the political booths the politicians operated with the open and cynical geniality of gamblers getting their shell-games and three-card tricks ready for the yokels at a country fair. It was inevitable that the first impulse of any fresh young intelligence was to throw the whole business overboard lock stock and barrel.

While we can’t get away from the fact that most everybody in the world today believes in his heart that life is more worth living for the average man in North America than anywhere else, we still don’t feel secure. Indeed we feel we lack that minimum of security necessary to keep a human institution a going concern. Too many Americans have let in among their basic and secret beliefs the sour postulate that American democracy is rotten. In spite of the ritual phases and the campaign slogans out of our national folklore, like the frogs in Aesop’s fable, many of us are croaking that we are sick of King Log and that we want to be ruled by King Stork…It won’t matter what name we call King Stork by, if we let him in he’ll eat us up just the same. Under the verbal pieties of democratic phraseology the state of. Mind of a good deal of the country is summed up by a man I heard cap a long irate political argument by shouting: ‘This man Roosevelt’s got too much power; what we need’s a dictator.’

How are these doubts answered? I myself believe that we are going to stick to our old King Log, that our peculiar institutions have a future, and that this country is getting to be a better place for men to live in instead of worse; but unfortunately just putting the statement down on paper does not make it true….How are going to reassure the great mob of secret subjects of King Stork? Are we sure that King Log isn’t as rotten as they say?

The answer is not in speeches or in popular songs, but in the nature of our political habits….[Americans] are heirs to the largest heritage of the habits and traditions and skills of selfgovernment [sic] there has ever been in the world. Politics is our whole history. If we fail to cope with the problem of adjusting the industrial machine to human needs it won’t be for lack of the political tradition.

By politics I mean simply the art of inducing people to behave in groups with a minimum of force and bloodshed. That was the purpose of the tribal traditions on which our Common Law is based: the patching up of private and public rows without violence by the opinion of a jury or the county of heads at a meeting.

Under the stresses of the last years we have seen nation after nation sink to its lowest common denominator…The question we have to face is: What is the content of our lowest common denominator?

If, in the bedrock habits of Americans, the selfgoverning tradition is dead or has been too much diluted by the demands of the industrial setup or the diverse habits of the stream of newcomers…, no amount of speechifying of politicians or of breastbeating by men of letters will bring it back to life…

What we can do is give that cantilever bridge into the future that we call hope a firm foundation in wehat has been. We can, without adding to the cloudy masses of unattached verbiage that makes any present moment in political life so difficult to see clear in, at least point out that, so far in our history, the habits of selfgovernment and the use of the art of politics towards increasing rather than decreasing the stature of each individual man, have survived.

Often its been nip and tuck. Our history has been a contest between the selfgoverning habits of the mass and various special groups that have sought to dominate it for their own purposes. So long as that contest continues the nation will remain a growing organism.

On the whole the struggle has been carried on thus far without destroying the fabric of society. In any cross section of our history you can find the political instinct running a binding thread through the welter of interests, inertias, impulses, greeds, fears, and heroisms that make up any event…

When we wake up in the night cold and sweating with nightmare fear for the future of our country we can settle back with the reassuring thought that…It is fairly easy to demonstrate that uncontrolled government of monopolized industry by irresponsible men is headed for ruin, and that that ruin might carry a good deal of the social fabric down with it; but it doesn’t follow that the selfgoverning republic, as a method of enabling people to live together in groups without conking each other on the head every minute, would necessarily go by the board too.

If all the monopolies folded up over night, or if their bosses converged on Washington and seized the government…the next morning we sould still face the problem of politics. Would the men who held power want to induce the others to behave in groups with a minimum rather than a maximum expenditure of force? At the minimum end of the scale would still be selfgovernment and the need to argue, cajole, and bribe their fellowcitizens into doing what they wanted them to…

…the continuance of selfgovernment will always depend on how much the people who exercise that liberty will be willing to sacrifice to retain it. A man in power will push his subjects around just as much as they’ll let him. But even in a riot the members of the mob and the members of the police force will behave as they have been brought up to behave.

We must never forget that men don’t make up much of their own behavior: they behave within limits laid down by their upbringing and group background. That is why individual men feel so helpless in the face of social changes. Modifications in the structure of any organization of men can’t ever really take effect till the next generation. A revolution can keep people from behaving in the old way but it can’t make them behave effectively in the new way. That is why a political system elastic enough to allow drastic changes inside of its fabric is one of the greatest boons any people can possess. Our occasionally selfgoverning republic has proved itself capable of bending without breaking under the terrific strains of the last ten years. The question is whether there is enough will to freedom in the country to make it keep on working. Social machinery, no matter how traditional, left to itself runs down; men have to work it.

Our history is full of answers to the question: How shall we make selfgovernment work? People like ourselves have been making it work with more or less success for centuries. And history is only dead when people think of the present in terms of the past instead of the other way around. The minute we get the idea that the records can be of use to us now, they become alive. They become the basis of a worldpicture into which we can fit our present lives, however painful they may be, and our hopes for the future…

In spite of the immense increase in complexity of organization, our problem is not so very different now: again in order to survive in a warring and hostile world we have to induce the weak and the powerful of all sections of our population to drop prejudices and bigotries and to pool their efforts in the common cause…In some ways the problem is more difficult, in some ways easier. What we must have in order to tackle it is…besides the selfgoverning habit: the will.

But will and energy cannot be directed without an aim…

…Our time has in common with theirs the many revolt that is behind the labor movement, the fanaticism of the Marxist and nationalist cults and the sullen hatred that people of property and privilege, who fear that everything they own is slipping out from under their feet, feel towards people without property…We too have seen men and women dying for righteousness’ sake. As they did, we live in a time of danger when life is cheap. Then as now a man who writes has to weigh his words. They had to train themselves not to be afraid of the scaffold and the brandingiron…The men of those times lived through and brought through with them the bundle of notions that is the culture of the western world; what has been done once can be done again.

The side they fought and worked and lived for hasn’t won by a long shot. Perhaps it never can win. But to let the other side win we know means death. It has been the struggle between privileged men who have managed to get hold of the levers of power and the people in general with their vague and changing aspirations for equality, for justice, for some kind of gentler brotherhood and peace, which has kept that balance of forces we call our system of government in equilibrium. Sometimes one scale is up and sometimes another. Sometimes the conflict is acute and at other times barely visible under the prosperous surface of eras of good feeling. Now that we feel that the struggle is harp and violent, waged in the difficult and unfamiliar terrain of a new system of production, when we rack our brains for hope and understanding for the future, it does us good, I think, to remind ourselves that in spite of hell and high water men in the past managed to live for and to establish some few liberties.

These are just the bits that jumped out at me and, while I have thoughts about them all, I think I’ll just let them speak for themselves.

One thing I will say, however, is that I kept pushing aside a mental image of Tim Gunn from Project Runway saying “Make it work!” the entire time I read this essay. (I sincerely hope someone is using the internet to sell us “Americans, making it work since 1776” bumper stickers. If not, I hereby grant the three people reading this post permission to make these and sell them on Etsy just…please…send me one if you do.) The thing about living in a Democracy is that we always get what we deserve, even if our individual votes don’t seem to count, because we the people elect a president as a single body. It’s a flawed system—always has been, always will be—but, when it works, the freedom inherent in this system is a thing of beauty. I think John Dos Passos is asking us to have the courage to be hopeful when it isn’t working properly, or the way we want it to, and is encouraging us to stay vigilant, to do the work that will see this gamble of selfgovernance  through to the next hand. And if we can survive the Civil War as a country, theoretically, the country can survive this uniquely violent era in American history, as well. Right?

This is not a thoroughly researched essay on the subject of American governance. Hell, it’s not even one I spent more than a few hours on today, on this day that is inaguration day but is also a holiday that celebrates Martin Luther King, Jr. I’m just writing to work through how I feel about things because Joan Didion gave me permission to, and because I’m trying to write more and share what I’m reading. So, you know, how do we appeal to the better angels of our nature in the modern era, how do we find the things we have in common as a country? I think…stay with me here…comedians might show us the way. Over the holidays, my husband and I watched CNN’s History of the Sitcom, which highlighted how the genre tackled heavy subjects that were polarizing the country like women’s rights, gay rights, and civil rights. If you can make people laugh, you allow them to relax, and when people relax, they can listen better and hopefully better understand something that is challenging for them. Comedy is the valve that releases the pressure.

In this spirit, I want to share Dave Chappelle’s SNL monologue that just aired on Saturday, January 18th. It’s 17 minutes long but I hope you’ll stick through the LA wildfire and Puffy jokes to hear him share a story about meeting former President Jimmy Carter in the Middle East, and end with a heartfelt plea to us as Americans. It made me, a woman who has read widely about what it means to be an American, cry. I hope it resonates with you too.

William Clarke, Eulogized

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The author and her uncle, 1984.

Last week (or maybe it was this week: Time has become a surreal concept this month), Mary said something to her niece, Sarah, that struck a chord with me. Forgive me, this won’t be verbatim, but she said: “I knew when you came out of the womb that we understood each other.” I totally got that because Uncle Bill and I were the same way.

The more I thought about that, I realized that there are kin and then there are kindreds. There are people you’re related to, share similarities with, and then there are people who are on the same wavelength and I am the lucky girl how had him as both. In fact, many of you have have taken the time this week to acknowledge that, tell me how often he spoke of me and how special I was to him, and I can’t tell you how much that means to me. So thank you. 

At the core of this connection is the fact that he and I both have soft hearts that love large and wound easily. We’re not specifically religious meaning no organized religion ever added up just right, but we believe in meaning and find it all around us. Cathedrals come in many forms and my uncle prayed at the altar of art and beauty (and baseball), as do I.

And I don’t believe in coincidences. For instance, I subscribe to this listserve called Poem-A-Day from Poetry.org. It’s exactly what it sounds like: it sends you a poem a day. As I sat down to write Uncle Bill’s obituary and this eulogy, the poem “Eve Remembering” by Toni Morrison was emailed to me and I’d like to read it to you now:

1.

I tore from a limb fruit that had lost its green.

My hands were warmed by the heat of an apple

Fire red and humming.

I bit sweet power to the core.

How can I say what it was like?

The taste! The taste undid my eyes

And led me far from the gardens planted for a child

To wildernesses deeper than any master’s call.

2.

Now these cool hands guide what they once caressed;

Lips forget what they have kissed.

My eyes now pool their light

Better the summit to see.

3.

I would do it all over again:

Be the harbor and set the sail,

Loose the breeze and harness the gale,

Cherish the harvest of what I have been.

Better the summit to scale.

Better the summit to be.

This poem reminded me of him for so many reasons. His love of picking apples in the Fall, and the fact that our family origins trace back to an apple orchard in Michigan. The way he reached out to grab every moment, large to small, as if he could clutch them in his hand and hold them close to his heart. It reminded me of that twinkle ever present in his eyes, that sort of innate glow that lit up a room, and how that lightness will guide us into tomorrow even if he physically cannot. 

But mostly this poem reminded me of how much he loved living, which makes his death all-the-more cruel. I’ve never met anyone who extracted more from a single day and savored every minute the way he did. He was the harbor, he was the breeze that set our sail, he was the summit for so many–elevating us by proxy just by bringing us along for the ride. And my, how we’ve reaped what he has sewn. 

When he first started treatment this year, I asked: Maybe it’s time you start a bucket list? And he told me he didn’t have one, that he’d been all over the world and seen what he had wanted to see; all he wanted now was to live a normal life, watch his kids grow up, and have the opportunity to work. A complex man with simple desires, in the end.

And this all can be summarized with one final story. Uncle Bill was always the first to show up and the last to leave, in times of joy and sorrow. After my mother passed, everyone had cleared out of her condo by the sea and it was just Uncle Bill and me, drying dishes after dinner. We had her 66th surprise birthday playlist on shuffle, we’d been drinking a lot of red wine, and one of her favorite Gordon Lightfoot songs came on. I lost it, I started ugly crying and pacing around the kitchen. He settled me down with a tight hug, and I asked him: “What am I supposed to do now?” I had commuted weekly between San Francisco and San Diego for over a year as she battled cancer with grace and dignity, much like her brother, and then relocated there full-time for the last month of her life. The purpose of my last year was gone. Uncle Bill said, “You live your life. That’s what she would have wanted most.” 

The worst part about death is the helplessness you feel but if there’s anything we can do for him now, it’s to remember him, speak of him often, keep him present in the present, and live of our lives fully and with intention (keeping each other close). That’s what he would have wanted most. 

 

William A. Clarke: A Celebration of Life

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William Allen Clarke passed away at home in Moraga, California surrounded by family and friends at precisely 1:20pm on November 18, 2019 following a prolonged battle with cancer.

Born in Detroit, Michigan to Roberta and Richard Allen Clarke on September 30, 1957, Bill was the quintessential middle son—a soft spoken mediator flanked by brothers Richard and Robert, all outranked by older sister Janis. The young Clarke family moved their Midwest roots west, following their patriarch, a respected Mad Men-era creative art director, and settled in the Southern California suburb of La Canada.

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All four kids grew up there, sun-kissed and creative, in a textbook California ranch home filled with music and art and literature, family heirlooms Bill held dear to his dying day. Every holiday was a production arranged with mid-century perfection by his mother and captured on film with painstaking artistry by his father. Weekends were spent at his big brother’s baseball games or at the beach, where he and brother Bob learned to surf—a hobby that would be a source of everlasting joy and serenity to Bill.

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He graduated from La Canada High School in 1975 truly earning the moniker “Big Man on Campus,” a phrase oft repeated in yearbook inscriptions. A natural athlete, fiercely competitive yet kind, he was simultaneously an all-star pitcher on the baseball team and the star quarterback on his school’s football team. He was so beloved that they placed Bill’s football jersey in the rafters of the school’s gym after his senior year, and it hung there until some years later when his coach retired, retrieved it, and returned it to Bill. This is what he wore while watching soundless 8mm films of his time as a teenage Golden Boy on his final birthday.

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From La Canada he went into the world, studying design at Long Beach State University while bartending (underage) and later attending the School of Visual Arts in New York. Bill brought beauty and balance to everything he touched, and his aesthetic matured while living abroad in Amsterdam and then Paris, France. He was always pen-in-hand: making lists, moving thoughts from page to page, and illustrating exquisite Christmas cards that now grace the walls of many, framed and treasured all-the-more with his passing.

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He followed his father into the advertising business as a young art director in Corona Del Mar, California, further honing his skills at Ogilvy & Mather, Direct, New York, as an Art Director from 1985 to 1987. After working on a children’s animated TV show in Paris he joined his father’s agency, Robinson Clarke, in San Francisco as a Creative Director and became a principal by 1997, successfully steering the agency after Richard Clarke’s death a year later. It was during this time that he met and married the love of his life, Mary Vreeland, with whom he would have two remarkable children: Margaux and Carter. He next launched his own company called Eureka Partners in 2003, working here until the end—save for a stint as Vice-President Global Creative at Twentieth Century Fox Consumer Products. Bill spent his final years imparting what he knew about brand development and consumer product merchandising to the next generation of designers as a teacher at Academy of Art University.

If the measure of a man is the company he keeps, then William Clarke was as tall as the Eiffel Tower and as deep as the Pacific Ocean; every person he met became a lifelong friend. World traveler, art collector, wine enthusiast and foodie without artifice; an exceptional husband, father, brother, and uncle who loved the sound and spray of the sea. He was comfortable and stood out in any crowd, always with a twinkle in his eye as he told thoughtful stories, surrounded by people. There is no way to qualify what we gained by knowing him or what we’ve lost in losing him.

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William Clarke was preceded in death by his parents, Richard and Bobbie (Carter) Clarke, as well as his sister, Janis (Clarke) Meldahl. He is survived by his brothers, Richard Clarke of Fallbrook and Robert Clarke of Solvang, as well as his wife, Mary Vreeland, and two children, Margaux and Carter, of Moraga. Interment will be at Mountain View Cemetery in Oakland, California with his sister, near their father. For those who would like to attend, there will be a viewing at the cemetery on November 23, 2019 (Saturday) from 4:00 – 6:00pm, with services at 10:30am and burial at 12:30pm on November 24, 2019 (Sunday). In lieu of flowers, the family requests that donations be made to the American Cancer Society.

 

 

Janis (Clarke) Meldahl

Janis (Clarke) Meldahl passed away at home surrounded by family and friends on the evening of April 3, 2018 following a year-long battle with cancer.

To the end, Jan did things on her terms—epitomizing women’s liberation even if she wasn’t overtly political. Though born in Detroit, Michigan to Richard and Roberta Clarke on January 5, 1952, she was a California classic. Jan was the oldest only daughter of a Mad Men-era creative art director, and looked after her three brothers with love, affection, annoyance, and admiration throughout her life. Growing up in Southern California, she spent the Age of Aquarius on horseback, summers tanning beachside, writing poetry, attending Gordon Lightfoot concerts, and getting into all the appropriate trouble for her age and era.

She graduated from La Canada High School in 1970 and sporadically attended Chaffey College and U.C. Davis, working briefly for a horse trainer and then slinging cocktails at a time when women bartenders were still uncommon. Weekend trips with Nightwatch coworkers and roommates to Kirkwood Meadows stoked a passion for skiing, while her love of planes, trains, and automobiles led to a pilot’s license. However, Arabian horses were her enduring passion. Jan was a lifelong equestrian, falling in love with her first horse, Kassim, as a teenager and finding purpose, solace in two snow-white half sisters, DJ and Bailey, as an adult.

In 1975, she reconnected with Bob Meldahl, the close friend and roommate of an old boyfriend. They began dating, quickly cohabitated, and were married on October 23, 1976 in Arcadia, California. Jan worked as a travel agent and toured the country in support of her husband’s professional softball team, refining the wild streak she cultivated with aplomb in high school. At the age of 30 she was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, yet, despite the debilitating progression of this disease, she never complained and never missed a beat. Forced to retire early, she decided to start a family and daughter Nicole was born in September 1984. Jan spent the next three decades devoted to her care while keeping the books for Bob’s thriving career as a Jockey’s Agent; she was the foundation for her little family of three.

She was also the nucleus of her entire family. The purchase of a classic sprawling ranch home in 1992 brought family from all corners of California to Arcadia for almost every holiday. As a widow, she sold this home in 2012 and permanently retired to Del Mar, California where she forged close friendships connected to her furry companions—groups she called her “Barn Buddies” and her “Dog Walking Friends.” After playing the role of caretaker for her husband and mother in their final years, she was able to indulge her love of travel with close friend Kim Rudenberg and finally took in the world—from Paris to Montreal, Arizona to Nantucket, and beyond. Her final adventure was a bucket list road trip to Monterey, California with daughter Nicole.

Jan was preceded in death by her parents, Richard and Bobbie (Carter) Clarke, as well as her husband, Robert Meldahl; she is survived by her brothers, Richard Clarke of San Diego, William Clarke of Moraga, and Robert Clarke of Solvang, as well as her daughter, Nicole Meldahl of San Francisco. Graveside services will be held at Mountain View Cemetery in Oakland, California, where she’ll be laid to rest near her father, on April 15. In lieu of flowers, Jan requested that donations be made to the San Diego Humane Society.

Janis Meldahl was whip smart and wise beyond her experiences, reading two newspapers each day and completing more crossword puzzles in a week than most people tackle in a lifetime. She loved the sound of the sea and the tone of wind chimes in the breeze; the color blue and animals big and small; she never forgot a birthday, and was always a phone call away for advice and comfort. There simply is no measurement for the void she’s left behind.

The family would like to extend a special note of gratitude to Dr. Samir Makani and his colleagues at Coastal Pulmonology, as well as her phenomenal SeaPoint and Rancho Bellamar neighbor friends, for all they did and continue to do.