The perfect recovery song to sink into the sadness and own it; to leave you lonely, drunk, and spoiling for a fight.
Entry One Hundred Fifty-One
Friday August 8 Weather unmarked.
Got up at 5: A.M. finished my packing. Tom called at 6:20 (He was supposed to pick me up at 6: A.M.) and told me to meet him at Woodman & Ventura.
Entry One Hundred Fifty
Thursday Tues., August 7 Weather unmarked
Entry One Hundred Fifty-Nine
Monday Sat., July 28 Weather unmarked.
Today I worked in the yard. Then tonite I went roller skating with T.T. with Paul. Afterwards we went the Gaylords for refreshments, ping-pong, etc.
When Paul took me home he told me I was real cute & a bunch of other stuff. I’m crazy I know but it just didn’t affect me. Here he carried on about how nice I was & everything it didn’t even please me where-as if Bob would have just told me (he wasn’t there) it was a nice day I’ed get goose-pimples down & up my spine. Early in the evening Nancy told me Joan Sterns had told her that her & “Bob” were going out tomorrow evening. Nancy also said he went to a beach party tonite. Well, that started it. All night I kept thinking about him. And when Paul was kissing me good-night, I was thinking about Bob & what he was doing then & of all the good-times we’ve had together & how guilty I felt about kissing Paul. Then when I got in the house I started thinking more & more about Bob. And then absent-mindedly I started singing “I Wonder Whose Kissing Him Now” & “You Made Me Love You” and “I Wish I Didn’t Love You So” and now I realize another thing. When I used to come home from a date with Bob, I used to go straight to sleep. But with Paul, I have to wash & brush my teeth. I wonder if that means anything! Another thing, I’m beginning to appreciate the way Bob kissed me. It was much more smoother, softer, lighter, spine-tinglinger, etc. etc. When Paul kisses me, its blah, blaah & more blaah. On the whole it was a nice evening. Ritchie brock up with Zella. Hip-Hip-Hooray. I wonder why. I looked very nice in the new slacks I got yesterday. Got in at 12:50.
Oh, poor Lois. Just for kicks, try to envision Lois moping around her room singing “You Made Me Love You” and pretending she’s Doris Day, a la this amazingly Technicolor video:
Entry One Hundred Fifty-Eight
Wednesday, July 23 Weather unmarked.
Today I saw Bob. He, Marian & I and some other guy were talking & he seem’s to have forgotten as forgiver Sunday. I sure hope so.
Entry One Hundred Fifty-Seven
Monday, July 21 Weather marked as Clear.
Went in town to usher for 3 wishes for Jaime it was terrific.
Nancy’s party was a lot of fun. Played ping-pong –vollyball – bad-mintin & danced. Bob was there. Joan Sterns managed to stick her hooks into him. So when I saw what she had done I asked him if he would take me home. He sayed yes much against his will. Coming home (he took Joan home too of course) he took Joan home first as it was closer. As soon as he had walked her to her to her door, he came back. As we pulled away he started to tell me that “I was very inconsiderate and I knew darn well I could’ve gotten a ride home with someone else, and why in the world did I do it and for a girl that thought she had brains I sure acted awful.” I felt like telling him what kind of a girl Joan is, but I guess its up to him to find out for himself. He’s sure in for a big letdown. When he asked me why I did it I felt like telling him 7 little words. “All is fair, in love and war.” But I didn’t. I didn’t say a word coming home when we got to my house I opened my door & sayed good-night. He turn off the ignition & walked me to the door (almost that is—to the breeze way) he then sayed I should forget what he said. I then said “I guess you were right.” He said he was, said good-night & started to leave. I then sayed “would you like to know why I did it.” He sayed yes & I said “never mind – good-night – have a good time tomorrow.” I went straight to my room with out saying a word to the folks who were in the living room and for no reason at all I started crying. I got undressed & no sooner did I get into bed when mom came in. She asked what was the matter, I told her nothing that I just wanted to get to sleep as I was tired. I guess I didn’t sound very convincing as she persisted in asking what was wrong & why was I crying & who brought me home. I told her Bob did & she then asked if I was crying cause he didn’t kiss me good-night or something like that. I said no which was the truth. She then asked if it were about some other guy I then told her that I’ve never cryed over any guy other than Bob & I wasn’t starting in now and as it was it was only the second time I was crying over him.
I hope he askes Joan out soon so he’ll find out as soon as possible how & what she really is. I still yern for him and long for his kisses and most of all his love.
Lois ushered for a production of Three Wishes For Jamie directed by Albert Lewis that was staged at the Philharmonic Auditorium in Los Angeles. An integral facet of the architecturally significant ring around Pershing Square, the Auditorium was a Southern California belle until the L.A. Philharmonic left her for the flashier digs of the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion in 1964. This move sealed old Audi’s fate, and she met the wrecking ball in 1985 (because Los Angeles City Planners have no soul). For a touching tribute to the old dame, read this article from the Los Angeles Times titled ‘Mildred Pierce’ remembers downtown L.A.’s Philharmonic Auditorium.
Entry One Hundred Fifty-Six
Sunday Fri., July 20 Weather unmarked.
Al Fried’s party was ??? ok??? After the party every one went miniature golfing. Went with Paul doubled with Al Fried & Sandy Lewis.
Entry One Hundred Fifty-Five
Friday Wed., July 18 Weather unmarked.
Bob is starting to warm up a bit. I never noticed how nice looking he was before. *I’m going to give him 2 years. If by that time there’s no spark……. I’ll try to forget him.
Entry One Hundred Fifty-Four
Tuesday, July 15 Weather unmarked.
Just think one month ago June 15th Bob told me he loved me. Today he’s 17 and does he love me? I hope so. He’s been pretty nasty to me.
Entry One Hundred Fifty-Three
Monday Sat., July 14 Weather unmarked.
Went to a beach party with Paul. He’s nice. He’s a good kisser but (of course) he’s not as good as Bob. I don’t think I’ll even find anyone else to take his place.